Waiting, we all have to do one time or another, but waiting for God to bring the perfect spouse into your life is not always easy. My friend was teasing me that next year my father will be overrun with young men wanting to get to know me. I started thinking about this and I began to wonder how long will I be required to wait. God never said wait till your 18 and then I'll show you your prince charming he simply said wait. At this time there is no young man in my life nor should there be at this point, yet I still feel lonely. I see so many young couple and see how happy they are and how I have no one like that. Some times its easy to wait other times its not so easy. Then I started to wonder what the teen/single years are for? I believe that these years are meant to grow closer to the Lord, learning all we can in home making for girls and providing for a home for young men, getting to know not only others believers but to also get to know ourselves better. When I was 13 I knew very little about Christianity and even less about being a godly woman and I'm figuring most 13yrolds don’t, yet we see so many 13-14 year olds dating and flirting and many times we call it cute, their first "crush". Even though I have decided to wait for the Lord to bring the right person into my life I some wonder "am I attractive? Do guys notice me? Does any guy like me? Do they even know I'm alive?" This can be dangerous. I'm not saying that it’s sinful to think about it from time to time but letting it consume our minds is very harmful. When we are wondering if a certain young man at church or a church activity likes us, then our focus is not longer on praising our Maker or enjoying godly fellowship but on that young man. Crushes...We've all had them and maybe some of us have them right now, there is nothing wrong with crushes as long as we don’t day dream about these person or think about this person or attach out first name to their last name "just to see how it looks/sounds". One of the hardest things about crushes is that they are most often secrets, or worse the only people that know are our friends. I've had many well meaning friends, more than once, try to help me out with a crush. I'd explain that I didn't want help but some how things seem to always get out of hand when girls talk about their crushes with girlfriends. One of the hardest things to do is not think about crushes and not talk about them, for this I'd recommend talking to your parents. I've done this twice I think neither time was easy. Once I just flat out told my mom and the second she guessed it and then we talked about it. It may be uncomfortable but it can help. I'd highly recommend the book before you meet prince charming. That book seriously changed my life and thought life. I've let a few friends borrow it and they said they same thing. I'd HIGHLY recommend every young lady to read this book. Another book that might be helpful for older teens (16+) is every young’s woman’s battle. This book is more geared towards the mental battles and unlike before you meet prince charming deals with the aspect of sexual purity. I'd like to end this post by saying that you’re not alone; others are waiting just like you. If any of you have any suggestions for reading or ideas to help keep your mind in the right place please leave a comment. If any married or engaged women read this please share your advice and/or encouragement. I pray you all have a blessed week.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Waiting is not always easy
Posted by Sydney Smith at 6:36 PM
Labels: Singleness
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8 comment(s):
Thank you for being so honest and open about your struggle!
You have a beautiful blog here. :)
I'm eighteen (I just turned eighteen a week ago), and I know what you mean. It can be difficult, especially with people walking up to me, "Oh, you're eighteen now -it could be any day now!"
Every time somebody says that to me a wealth of unfinished business and warped priorities flood to my mind. Am I ready to be married? I have so many areas of my life that need refining. If I'm not "ready," why am I thinking about it so much? :)
Waiting doesn't have to be a hard thing. I find that when I focus on my family, and things I can do to serve them, when I make my spiritual walk with Christ my #1 priority, when I confide in my parents about my day-to-day struggles, when I try to help and mentor girls younger than I... contentment comes. It's a sneaky feeling, but suddenly, my heart is more focused on the "now" than the "then," and I'm so much more useful and happy in the sphere where God has placed me!
Anyway, sorry for hijacking your comment section. :) This post really just resonated with me. Again, thanks for sharing. :)
Wow, you hit the nail on the head with this post!!
So many times I've been asked why I don't date... and when I flash the promise ring and tell people I'm waiting on God's timing and working on my relationship with Jesus... well you should see some of the looks I get. Even from fellow believers. It can be quite discouraging. But I know that God's way is the right way and remembering that makes everything entirely bearable.
I learned a painful lesson about how dangerous crushes can be this past fall/winter. Without going into details, it was probably a really necessary wake-up call to how different God's way is from the world's way. Completely necessary... but utterly horrible to learn it the hard way.
I haven't yet read before you meet prince charming but I will definitely check it out. It seems like it will have some good Biblical tips :) I have read every young woman's battle and I'd also highly recommend that book to anyone. I would also recommend Captivating.
You got a job?! What kind of a job is it? I think that's very exciting!! :D
How else are you??
Jaybird, Thanks for commenting. I plan to implament that advice into my daily life,thanks so much for sharing. Feel free to highjack my comment section anytime! I read your blog and LOVED it I added you to my favorites!
Samantha, People have given some strange looks to its kinda funny but its kinda sad that they will never understand the joy of waiting. I didn't mention it in my post but I have learned that the Lord's way is MUCH better than our way. That experance truely opened my eyes to the reason that I wait. I answerd your other quetion in my newest post. I'll have to add CAPTIVATING to my reading list.
Many smiles and blessings to all
I enjoyed reading your post!
I know what you mean about feeling lonely sometimes, even when it's not the "right" time for someone to be in your life. I think it's a little dangerous to always think of everything we do in terms of a future husband, as in, this time of our lives being preparation only for getting married. Most likely, we will get married, but I want this time of my life to help me become a Godly woman, a blessing in the body of Christ, even if I never get married. I linked to an article off of my blog that really encouraged me. She was saying that if there is something we always wanted to do, we should do it, not wait until we are married to do it. For example, I really love hospitality and having people over, so I want to start doing that now, serving the church and showing love to the world, rather than waiting until I am married to do that.
Anyway, thanks for your post! I enjoyed reading it! Thanks also for the comment you left on my blog awhile back; it's nice to meet another fellow-blogger! :-)
I enjoyed reading your post!
I know what you mean about feeling lonely sometimes, even when it's not the "right" time for someone to be in your life. I think it's a little dangerous to always think of everything we do in terms of a future husband, as in, this time of our lives being preparation only for getting married. Most likely, we will get married, but I want this time of my life to help me become a Godly woman, a blessing in the body of Christ, even if I never get married. I linked to an article off of my blog that really encouraged me. She was saying that if there is something we always wanted to do, we should do it, not wait until we are married to do it. For example, I really love hospitality and having people over, so I want to start doing that now, serving the church and showing love to the world, rather than waiting until I am married to do that.
Anyway, thanks for your post! I enjoyed reading it! Thanks also for the comment you left on my blog awhile back; it's nice to meet another fellow-blogger! :-)
Dear Sydney, I know what you're saying and know how you feel. I think the best way to have these feelings pass from us until the Lord does bring Prince into our lives is to simply not focus on it. I have been there... in that place where all I could think about (or worry) was getting married. I so wanted to get married when I was 16 because I had such a longing for a guy to be mine and love and hold me. We are humans and we need that affection.
However, once I realized that God is in control of my life I didn't worry so much. It wasn't something that was constantly on my mind, bugging me and making completely wretched.
The Lord is preparing you to be a helpmeet to someone wonderful and you must use this time to grow in the Word and learn to trust Him. And perhaps the man God has for you is not yet ready to take on a wife or lead, spiritually, a family.
I am coming up on my 17th year and I am praying that this will be the year I meet Prince and in the next I will marry, but those are my plans. Not the Lord's, and I truly do want His so I must not even think of mine.
Obviously I can't make your Prince come any sooner or stop you from having these feelings, but I can encourage you to continue in your walk in serving the Lord and your family until Prince comes.
Be praying for Prince. Be praying for his maturity, spiritually and mentally. Pray that he is following the Lord's will also and that is is doing all to serve the Lord.
I believe you are quite level-headed about this, but we all still need to be encouraged and loved when we're feeling lonely in this area. Cling to your family and the Lord. He will surely not let you fall.
I don't think you read this post, though you may have, but I think it may lift your spirits: http://aponderingheart.com/blog/?p=367
Love ya lots sister!
MJ
As one who was unsaved until after marriage, I will confirm that it is indeed worth the wait. I say this with complete authority because I didn't wait, so I know that the grass wasn't greener on my side of the fence.
Thankfully the Lord had a plan for me and placed godly people in my life to influence me and a young man in my life who would grow to be a godly husband. Even before we came to Christ we both regretted our pre-marital behaviors and afterwards we truly came to understand why it would have been better to have been patient. Our marriage has survived and is flourishing well but only by God's grace.
As for your current wait, do not consider it just passing of time. Consider it a golden opportunity to serve others. Learn from those Christian marriages around you. Take every opportunity to bless others freely because there may come a time after marriage that you'll wish you could reach out more to others but your own family needs you more. Consider it a privilege now to serve and pray for those around you and to learn from them.
Your blog is beautiful and when you are presented to your prince he shall be blessed by the fruits of the patience you exhibit now.
Yes, it is hard. I want to have someone like "everyone" else I see, but I know that's not best for me right now. Thank you for this post.
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