Encouraging manlyness in our brothers.

Gentlemen are the kind of husbands that most girls want, but who is encouraging the boys of today to be the men of tomorrow? Yes, the parents are but honestly most boys will act the way girls encourage them to act.
If a boy does some stupid bone-headed stunt and gets female attention more than likely he will do this more to receive praise of the opposite sex. If a boy gets attention from lewd jokes and sexually derogative comments from girls he will learn that this is how you get a girl to notice you!
Sure, his parents tell him that girls don't like it up the girls are telling him something far different by their actions!

So what can we, as tomorrows women do to encourage the men of tomorrow to become true gentlemen? Please remember that not all of these are proper to use on males outside your family, as it may be seen a flirting or you may seem to have a romantically inclined interest in him when you may simply be trying to build his manners.

One: Wait for him to open the door for you. I will often wait outside the door for my brother to open it for me. Now if his hands are full I will open it for him but in general I allow him to. Of course I am able to open it my self, but it makes him feel like a good guy and shows him that I appreciate his good manners.

Two: Ask him to carry heavy objects, unless he is physically unable. I have two brothers, A 16 year old who is much bigger than I and a 13 year old who is about the same size maybe a tad smaller. Now my 16 year old brother loves to show off his manliness around me. He'll open jars that I can't, open the door, take out the trash if its dark out or at least walk with me, and countless other things.
It may seem like I'm being lazy or that I'm pushing work off onto him but he loves it! He honestly gets upset with my mother and I when we carry heavy stuff instead of asking him to help up! I'm not saying have your brother or father do all the physical work but now and then ask them for help and watch their manly ego grow as they embrace their God given role.


Three: Encourage polite speech, not only by reminding them that it is not polite to speak harshly to women, as well as to men, but also by speaking the way a lady should. I have two teenage brothers so I know how hard this can be, especially when they go around singing "That song" or quoting "that", yeah it can be hard to speak nicely. If, heaven forbid, they make a comment that praises or accepts poor treatment to ladies, just tell them that girls hate it and not only that but that its simply not right. I am not a feminist, I'm not talking about poor treatment as in equality of the sexes but as in men pushing or using women, talking lewdly about the way they dress, or even just being hateful and vile.

Four: Make clear what acceptable behavior towards girls is.
When they hold the door open for you, thank them. If they compliant your outfit or the way you look thank them and tell them how good it makes you feel. Any charteristcs that you would want in your husband praise them in those areas. When they play with a child or help a mother with something tell them what a great trait that is for a man. Let them know that they are wonderful! Don't be quick to jump all over them when they do something wrong but fail to uplift when they do something right.

Five: Ask their opinions and listen to their thoughts. "Which shoes do you like better with this dress" or if you are cooking "would you taste this for me". Value their thoughts. Talk to them. Communication is very important in all relationships, if your brothers are unable to tell you what they like and what they think in a proper way how will they do so with their wives?

Six: Let them protect you. Often times when we are out and about if they notice a guy looking at me or sometimes they come up and try and start up a conversations my brother will walk up and just stand there...watching the guy. Once your old enough to be in a relationship and your in the right setting I'm sure this would be very annoying but in public, at 17, and since I'm not interested in them it is very nice. Again, tell your brothers that you’re glad they are watching out for you. They cannot read your mind. They do not just know that your glad they are doing this for you.

Seven: Pray for them. Daily. Pray for them the way you would want your future husband’s family to be praying for him.


While I know that it is the parents’ job to raise the children I think that we, as sisters, can help encourage our brothers. You never know, your future sister-in-law might be doing this for your will-be-husband.

Not only is this good for your brothers, it is good for your future husband, if the Lord gives you one.

In “authentic Beauty” By Leslie Ludy there are, I believe, three sections written by her husband about “studying manhood”. Those passages are very insightful how guys think; one of them is about this very topic, encouraging guys to godly manhood. If you read this book for no other reason those three sections are worth getting the book for. While I do not understand the male mind, those sections do give some ideas about bringing out the best in man by being the type of ladies the Lord wants us to be.

Note: My brothers are wonderful and when I speak about lewd and vile behavior in boys I am not speaking about them. Those are simply traits I have observed in other boys. Not my brothers.