The Daily Christian Walk of a Full-Time Student With Two Jobs

When I first began my journey to living on my own everyone told me to make sure I keep the scriptures first in my life and never take my eyes off God. I wish I could say I've kept this advice perfectly ever since I moved out on my own, sadly I cannot. Daily life has gotten in the way my prayer life and Bible studies. I work most Sundays and Wednesdays just to pay the bills and get through life. This is a fact of life, I cannot always make it to church ever single service, I wish I could but there is no way I can and still support myself. So how do I keep my heart focused and on God? To be honest, it has been a huge struggle for me before and still is. I get busy and caught up in my studies and working two jobs and trying to balance my friends and my loved ones. What is a overly busy girl to do?

One, I start by praying. I ask God to give me time to spend with Him. I ask him, sometimes I even beg Him, to help me make time for Him daily. One strange way God has give me extra time with Him is during my runs. I love running and run around 3-5 miles a day, usually 5-6 days a week, and when I don't run I cross-training (meaning biking or using some other type of cardio machine to strengthen my knees). These runs normally take around an hour a half for a long run and a short run is usually around 45 minutes. I find these runs a wonderful time to pray and talk to God. If I am running in the woods I sometimes turn up the music on my I-pod and just praise God for this beautiful creation and listen to Him speak to me. Other times I go for hard runs up hills and these are the time I am crying out to God for help or guidance. Before I prayed for God to increase my time and help me make time for Him my daily runs was just time blaring music and thinking about daily life.

Two, I talk to my boyfriend and other like minded friends. My closest friends, my “college family”, with whom I study with, do some group work outs, cook with, hang out with, and just have fun with, are all Christians. We all struggle at times with things but we all try to keep God first and to stay focused on God. All of us are living on our own, all but one of us are either from out of state or out of country even, thus dealing with a lot of the same things. Surrounding yourself with people who will lift you up constantly is more helpful then I ever dreamed possible. My darling boyfriend is a wonderful Christian man, with who I have Bible studies with and pray with. We bother share our struggles with each other and keep each other accountable. When one falls or needs to be reminded of things, we are there for each other. I cannot stress enough how important this is. Your close friends MUST be like minded. And that special person in your life 100% must be on the same page as you! If they are not, you will fall. I couldn't imagine how I would be if my friends where not believers and I couldn't image my man not being on the same page as me. It just wouldn't work.

Third, The Bible will truly keep you focused. When ever I find my self skimping on my reading or I just skip it, things are ALWAYS worse. Maybe not blatantly so at first, maybe I am just a little moodier, or maybe I am just a little off focused, other times it is like a neon sign. I am frustrated, I don't feel well, I can't focus on anything, and I get hacked off at the little annoying things of daily life.

Four, online sermons. I know that this does not replace sitting in a church service and hearing the word with other Christians but it is something. Hearing the word of God taught keeps me challenged and focus. It keeps my heart tender and usable.

Five, Ignore what others say. This is something I've had to do since my senior year of highschool when my life took a different path from that which I had grown up on. When I challenged a lot of things I was taught and that many of my peers and friends and even family believed. I had to focus on God and tune out the other voices telling me Gods will for me.(see this post) God has lead me here and has placed me in the situations I am in. While they are not ideal and I wish I was able to attend a normal church service every single Sunday it isn't doable. I think God still blesses me for this and gives me other was to worship, learn His word, have good fellowship, and to talk to him.

Sometimes, often, I get frustrated with this but then I am reminder that there is a higher reason that I see. Maybe this is just because God wants be to depend on Him and not a church right now. Maybe He needs me strong in my faith on my own before He leads me into further service, I honestly have no idea. All I know is this is what I've got and this is what God had lead me to.

A new path

College...a word that has always been present in my world. It was never an option. I WOULD go...no questions asked, that was just how it was.
Then last year I started to question that, should girls really go? Is it more biblical to stay home then to get an education? Could what I always thought be wrong?
For awhile I even prayed that I wouldn't go to college, I wanted to just learn to be a wife while staying at my home, which, for me, is totally impractical and impossible for many personal reasons. The doors for staying home just would not open; the door for college kept flying open.
At this point I accepted that staying home and not going to college was not for me and that I would go wherever God showed me, not to long after I accepted this I found a name of a college that really stuck out and prayed that I could go to that one. I had requested drawers-full of information packets from various colleges and applied at a few and got accepted into two others but none felt as right as this one. It was almost too good to be true. I wanted to go to this college so bad. Could I actually be getting my wish?
I needed a 3.0 GPA to get in...I finished with a 3.77 which will qualify me for many wonderful scholarships. I needed a 995 math and reading SAT score...I received a 1040. Every thing "seemed" perfect. I was still scared that something wouldn't work out, but it felt so right.

I prayed nonstop for guidance about this. I called the college a few times...ok a lot of times! I asked questions; I studied my brain into mush before the SAT, I prayed for very specific scores, which I did get just a little higher than. Then one day a little glimmer of light shone, I called to check on my finical aid process and the lady to whom I spoke made it sound like I had been accepted but said I "wasn't just yet"...then on Thursday (the 9th) my mother called me at work with the news. She asked if I was somewhere private and then told me that such and such college had called and that she had bad news. "I'm going to miss my little girl! You’re in!" I freaked a little while on the phone then after I talked to her for a few minutes I hung up and pretty much screamed, scaring everyone in the vicinity. I was in! My prayers had been answered! I was REALY going!


I will be leaving Texas August 8th. I am thrilled; all the right doors have been opened wide and the wrong ones have been locked tight. My path is clear. I am still in a state of shock at this time. As I clean out different places of my room and I think "one month...and I will never call this room mine again. I will never walk the halls of this house again in the same way...it all is going to change in one month" it is a strange feeling. I can't explain it; it is very sweet but with a twinge of bitterness? I am moving on with my life but I am leaving many of my loved ones behind. I am leaving EVERY thing behind. The places I played as a child, the garden my mother and I tilled by hand when I was eight or so, the places my brothers and I grew up, played, and yes got in lots of trouble. My brothers have been my constant companions, what classmates are to those who attend public or private schools are those, my brothers have been to me. The city my grandmother lives in, the city I was born in, and of course some less than pleasant things that totally changed my life and set things in motion that, at the time, I had no idea would affect my adult life. The places my best childhood friend and I went on wild adventures and read books and poetry together that girl’s our age normally wouldn't. It still feels weird knowing that my days are numbered here…but it feels exciting and as if I am starting a new adventure! So much that I am leaving but so much is ahead.

Am I scared? Certainly! I have never been away from my mother and brothers for more than about a week. I will be responsible for my self. No one to say "Sydney, you forgot to eat today" or "Sydney, get a move on! You're running late!" and I will not be able to fall back on my mother when something goes wrong such as, I wore the wrong color blue skirt to work and I have to change or go home (or make a wrap skirt from some fabric and safety pins, yes...that did happen just this week). . I am stilling hold fast to God’s word and truths, in fact I would say over the last six months I have grown more than ever; in ways I cannot even explain. The courage to say “this MUST change and I MUST do this” and the faith that I had to have just incase things took a different direction. I do not think I have ever been this strong in my life. I still have a lot to learn and many ways to grow but I know that by me doing this it is like taking the limits of my development off and giving me all that I need to become the woman God has planned for me to be since my conception. Fear of what might happen if I go to college is not a valid excuse for me not to go. As many of you have heard “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.” ~Ambrose Redmoon



I think this new turn of events will changed the focus on my blog a little. I think I will be posting more of daily life and college things. Maybe saving money and being frugal on a college budget? Planning time wisely? (If I learn this)
Things of that nature rather than as many spiritual things as before, Yes, I'll still write on those things but I feel as my life is changing and it is time for me to write more on other things

College is one of those issues that just add fuel to the fire of argumentation. So in advanced if you disagree, please, let me know if you feel the need to, just remember that I am saying what God would have ME do not what I think God would have YOU do. Each person must seek what God will is for them and not what others think they should do. I cannot stress that enough. Just because moving away is for me does NOT mean it’s for you. Just because staying home is for you does not mean it’s for me!

*post started on the 13th of July, Finished finished the 27th of July*

Stop the cookie cutting!

Cookie cutters, we've all seen them, we've all used them. They are great little things for making every single cookie the exact same way every time. I teach little kids, 3-7 year olds, so when I make cookies for those guys the cookies MUST BE THE SAME SIZE!!! IN THE NAME OF FAIRNESS. But, what about people...?

I have always been a "break the mold" person. I've always stood out, even when I tried to be like everyone else. You know the kid who always was the "weird one" but some how everyone still loved...yeah that was me. I am grateful that I never learned to fit any mold other than the one God made just for me.
I've never really matched up to what most people thought I should and to be honest, that is fine with me. The last year a lot of what I believe has changed, no I'm not about to say I am turning liberal, I've began to use the Bible as my bases rather than "oh, so many people say xyz so it must be true!" or " Oh...so and so said it and they seem like such a godly person" or the one that I've most recently started having to change "oh, my parents say it so it automatically biblical". As I've bounced back and forth between these thoughts I've learned something: God speaks to each of us differently. Just because not wearing pants is right for you doesn't mean its right for me. Maybe God doesn't have a college education planned for you like He does for me. Let’s say that God wants you to live at home until your married...that’s not what He has for me. Head covering full time? Great, if that’s what God has for you, as for me just during worship. Not at all for you? Then praise God that you’re doing what He wants for YOU.

You CANNOT put the Christian life in a cookie cutter and say this is how it has to be! Now, duh, some things are; like salvation, through Christ's blood alone. Something we cannot earn and something we do not deserve, a free gift to all man kind who trust in His name alone. Baptism, after salvation only, not for babies. The Bible is the written word of God. Stuff like that. However many things aren't clear in the Bible, Mistake? Hardly, when God makes something vague it’s because he WANTS it vague. Why doesn't God say this is how you do this with everything in our lives? Because it’s different for each person in each generation. Maybe God wants a certain woman to become a doctor so she can later become a missionary’s wife and she needs that degree.
I know a couple that happened to. The wife went to college, had a great job before hand and when she went on the field that knowledge was greatly needed and used! I want to teach, I have for most of my life. Maybe God has a class full of children that He has great plans for, they just need some one to plant the seed and water it. Maybe God wants a certain girl to stay home and learn the ways of the house only and never get a "real job" or an education past high school. Maybe her children are going to change the world. What ever God has for you may not be the same for another family or even for a member of the same family

See why its impossible to say "this is the only way!". Often times when we say that it's not that it's the only way, but it is OUR way. Personally I am sick of being told that what I'm doing is wrong by people who hardly know me. They don't know anything about me. They hardly even know my family, yet they think that they have some sort of divine insight into my future and speak as if God told them "this is what I would have Sydney Smith do", yeah right. Now maybe those people have prayed for me and maybe they think that they know what is best for me. Now if they really did don't you think God would have told me or my parents that? Yeah, He would have. I have prayed for along time for God's leading. When I first started praying and people would ask what I was doing and I would say "I'm still praying about it...maybe stay home for college? I'm not sure" I got the response "well praise God your seeking His will" well when I started saying "I've prayed very hard and now God has lead me out of state for college" I get the "are you sure...are you old enough to make that kind of choice? What do your parents think?" as if some how when I sought God and it matched their plans of how I should be I was mature and able minded but when I sought God and was sure of what He wants and it doesn't match their plans then I am a child unable to know what God would have for me. What they really meant the first time “was praise God you match my mold of life!”
Yes, this does bug me. I am a born again believer, God speaks to me like he does you; God gave me a brain and a heart. God gave me the desire to seek His will and the ability to talk to Him about my future. God says "seek ye first the kingdom of God" Not seek ye first the opinion of some well meaning person who hardly knows you and is trying to force you into their own little box of how Christian girls should be. Yeah, there are risks. Yeah, I will fall and mess up, maybe big time; the safest place to be is in the center of God's will. I would rather risk going out of state and living on my own and be in God's will then stay home "safe" and not being in God's will but "safe".

So what am I trying to say? Stop trying to make people fit your little cookie cutter.
Stop telling parents that they fail at parenting because their child is different. That bugs me to no end, when people keep questioning my mother to why she is allowing me to go to college and if she’s sure that I'm right! Seriously people, cut it out. I have been very sweet and tried to be loving towards people who say stuff to me but if I see another person question my mother about my college choice I might end up referring them to this post.
If you have ignored God’s will for that of some well meaning person I want to encourage you to stop allowing people to “cookie cut” you. Seek God’s will…not man’s.

So...your homeschooled...

This is one of the many questions I get asked all the time. When I work in the mornings/early afternoon during in the week I get that condemning stare from people who try to pose their question as merely curious, yes I know some people are really just wondering but there are those who just want to try and start something. Here's how they ask "so how old are you? You don't look old enough to be out of school" 'oh I'm not I'm home schooled' "oh...I thought...never mind, that is neat". I even had one lady flat out ask me if I was a single mother or high school drop out!

When I was much younger and my mother would take all three of us out shopping we'd get stares and every one asking "why aren't your kids in school??". Now, most people ask "Do y'all homeschool?" Its kind of neat how its becoming more accepted but there still are a few people who just don't get what homeschooling is.


Common misconceptions about homeschoolers:

1. Their educational weakness is because they are homeschooled!
When anyone sees my handwriting or spelling, they automatically assume that it is because I'm homeschooled. When I find out a public schooler is bad at,say, reading, I don't say "oh well, he goes to public school its to be assumed", no we realize that its his or her weakness. People need to see homeschoolers weaknesses the same way.

2. They never ever ever leave the house.
OK this one is slightly true. I do not go out and hang out with friends a lot, but I do have other things I do. I work and I sing in a homeschool choir and do a lot of stuff with them.
I use to take art, drama, was in two choirs, violin and even ballet until the kicked me out for being oh so clumsy and ungraceful. I also use to volunteer at the public library until my work schedule forced me to stop, also a food pantry until we changed churches and I was no longer welcomed there.

3. Homeschoolers are geniuses!!!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA, that is my favorite! Some homeschooled kids may be exceptionally smart but I'm not one of them.

4. They don't get along with the outside world!
This one makes me giggle, I am a very social person. I enjoy talking to and being around others, Yes even non-homerschoolers. I know that they can't help they go to a brainwashing facility that is paid for by the government five days a week. -sigh- Ok, lame joke but still, you get the point. MOST HOME SCHOOLERS ARE SOCIABLE! Some of aren't but some of the public school kids aren't either!


Here are some videos about homeschoolers that make me laugh, and hopefully will make you as well.
You might be a homeschooler if... Its kinda funny...most of these apply to me and my family.
If you are more conservative with your music you might want to mute this one.
Homeschooler Song Who is scarier? Homeschoolers? Or "out-siders" that make videos of us?

The other
homerschooler song!

Diagnosis: Homeschooler

This post was not meant to educate anybody about how homeschooling works. It was purely because I got bored! When I get close to graduation I will be post about why I like homeschooling and why I think its better then public/private schooling.

Anyways, I'm off to get ready for church!
Peace out fellow "homies"

Getting closer now!

Graduation is so very close! We had another planning meeting Thursday night! I was sick but I went anyways, I'm glad we did because we picked the color of our gowns! We picked white but one of the mothers suggested changing it because she doesn't like white gowns. So if we decide not to do white it will be emerald green! The church we're graduating in is mainly blue so we knocked out that color cause, come on, who wants to look like one of the chairs!

Since none of the 5 graduates really know each other the first meeting was kinda strange and was mainly five teenagers sitting in a basement looking at each other grinning shyly. Thankfully this did not last long. The only thing we decided that night was that burgundy gowns was a huge NO-NO; I shocked my self by blurting out my passionate dislike for this color when asked what colors I was against but every one agreed with me very quickly; I think this was the main ice breaker. After that we played some games like catch phrase, bluff, and spoons. All in all it was a very fun and though unproductive night in planning the graduation it was useful to getting to know each other. Including my self there are four ladies and also there is one gentleman.

The date and location is set but that is about it! I still have my pictures to take and invitations to make up! Oh yeah, and finishing all the school work! At the rate I'm going I should be done the first week of May, only two weeks before we all march down the aisle, wearing white gowns. Ok, that does sound a little wedding-y but oh well!

I want my personal theme verse to be JEREMIAH 29:11 "29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. "
I'm not sure what color I'll do my invitations in or what color the cake will be. I want to bake the cake my self and have a lady I know decorate it! She makes masterpieces! Since my artistic hand is lacking a steady grip it is best I don't try to do it my self.

As far as physical appearance for graduation night; Make up is an easy thing to deal with being I don't wear any! My hair, I might just ask a friend help me pin part of it up with some pretty but simple little flower gems and leave it most of the way down. Random up-date my hair is about four maybe five inches from hitting my waist again! Its been a while since it was that long and I'm hoping it will be very close to my waist come May. Anyways back to graduation!
I could really just jump up and down!I'm so excited!
MJ has been great a great friend during my Senior year and started a great site for the class of 2009
Be sure it check it out and if your a Senior this year at least go over and read the bios of your fellow seniors, it might be an encouragement to you!

School left to finish:

Geometry.
Half of twelfth grade writing and grammar.
A few more books for Civics and British literature. I love Sonlight!
Human anatomy, I had to drop Physics, the math was way above my level.
A paper on either "How I plan to change the world" or "Can one person really change the world?". I didn't get to pick the topic but still, it will be interesting.


Since I didn't take the PSAT's or the SAT's I have to attended a junior college my first year at least. Being that junior colleges are much cheaper I might stay for two years and get all my basics out of the way then transfer to the main college to finish my degree. I'm still not sure where I plan to finish off my education but the junior college is all picked out!

Please pray for my dear mother during this time. I know she will be under a lot of stress with trying to get the graduation done and she wants to do a party for my 18th birthday come April. Also there are colleges to check out and transcripts to form! I know I'll be under pressure but its nothing like what she will be going through!

So, other seniors, what have you planned so far? Those who have all ready finished school what was your last semester like? Share your story!

2009 is here

2009, Wow. The past year has gone by so fast! This year is going to be one of much learning, I already know that. One where much in my life will change. I'm finishing high school, heading to college, buying a car soon, and growing up.

The past year was a wonderful one. As some of you know two years ago we changed churches. When we did so I was very upset and swore I would never be happy there. But last year proved me wrong, as did the year before that. As our second "anniversary" rolls around this Sunday, I am reminded yet again of how the good Lord works in my life.

Some things that I have learned this past year:

1. Complaining really doesn't help the problem, it just makes you feel worse in the end.
2. If something is worth doing it is worth doing correctly...the first time.
3. Don't sweat the small stuff. Not everything goes the way it was planned, learn to let some things go.
4. Pick your battles wisely. You don't need to give your two cents in every argument. Some times just smiling and walking away is the wisest thing to do.
5. Brokenness is beautiful. The Lord can work masterpieces with broken lives.
6. That a simple smile can lift a down trodden heart.
7. Praise matters. We often are quick to complain about things but how quick are we to praise when good things happen?
8. Family is more important then friends.
9. That person who said something rude to you might have just been having a bad day, give them the benefit of the doubt. They might just be a good friend waiting to happen.
10. God is always good. A lady once told me that nothing happens in our life with out God's "stamp of approval". That "bad" thing in your life is happening for a reason. God allowed it. God is always good. God is always God.

I could go on and on but I think those are the main things that I've been shown this past year.
Like most people I did make New Year resolutions.


1. Read my Bible more in depth.
2. Wake up earlier. I'm a night person so this one is hard for me.
3. Speak kinder words to my brothers. Even when my blood sugar is low and I get very moody.
4. Do more of my own sewing.
5. Spend more time thinking of others.
6. Be more thankful.
7. Fill my hopechest. Hope chest?
8. Exercise daily.
9. Post at least weekly on here.
10.Graduate high school =]


Some things I want to learn to do or simply make the time to do this year:

1. Knit a sweater
2. learn a foreign language.
3. Learn to make soap.
4. Get my own business out of the 'dream' stage and into real life!
5. Learn to make a good button hole. Trust me, its harder than you think.


I know this is so very late but I sort of hit a writing dead end.I was told that my writing needed some work and that my grammar was very poor. I know that my grammar needs work but it is something that I struggle with and also something that I have been working on. Rather then letting this slide like I should have I got upset and didn't want to write for awhile. I am now over this and will be blogging regularly again. Forgive me for allowing such a petty thing prevent me from sharing this.